Perversion for Profit and Printed Poison: An Experiment in writing, or something

Did you ever stop to consider, in your time online looking up pornographic materials, that you are actually morally weakening yourself and the country, leaving it vulnerable to the foreigners to take over? No? Well then you've never seen films like Perversion for Profit and Printed Poison. Which may be a good thing.

Filmed at an A&W root beer stand.

Filmed in Mr. Freeze's underpants.

Perversion for Profit and Printed Poison are two anti-porn propaganda films from the 1960s, produced by the Citizens for Decent Literature founded by Charles Keating. If the name Charles Keating sounds familiar, it's because he was a championship swimmer in the 1940s, and an anti-pornography activist who was on Nixon's Commission on Obscenity and Pornography in 1969, being the lone dissenter from their report calling for the repeal of obscenity laws, and played by James Cromwell in The People vs. Larry Flynt. But mainly, he's known as the chairman of Lincoln Savings and Loan in the 1980s, whose actions resulted in senators known as the Keating Five (including the late john McCain) being accused of corruptly acting to help him fight regulators, three of whom (Alan Cranston, Dennis DeConcini, and Donald Riegle) being found to have interfered for him. As well, under his leadership the company began selling unsecured junk bonds, then funneling that into fronts, allowing a scheme to embezzle over a billion dollars from the feds, and collapsed in 1989 after things like shady real estate deals and the junk bonds, leaving the federal government to pay $3.4 billion dollars to cover Lincoln's losses, while many retiree investors lost their life savings. Truly an upstanding, decent citizen. Keating was convicted and went to jail, was released around 2000, and died in 2014 at age 90.

But who cares about that? We're focusing on is his career as an anti-pornography spoilsport, I mean, whatever, and the general thing at the time, you know, context, that's it. It'd be impossible to do a full rundown here (for more on the history, I recommend Perversion for Profit: The Politics of Pornography and the Rise of the New Right by Whitney Strub). Basically, the Citizens for Decent Literature were founded in Cincinnati in the late 50s, becoming a major anti-obscenity force, with mailing lists that covered the whole country with a focus on grassroots organizing, legal-sounding jargon, and using porno language (such as "an aroused public), that fits in with the general atmosphere one thinks of with the 1950s and 60s pre-pill. Now I'm reminded of some stuff I had to look up for a class at UCLA, so, switching gears for now. I mean, just look at the film I previously covered, Dance Little Children. Or the highly stringent censorship in general, before I go on some long rant about Americans and sex out of Slate, for example the Comics Code they had made, or that episode or Mad Men where Peggy had on that weight loss belt that acted as a vibrator. Now I don't remember where I was going with this, sorry. Okay, let's try this again. So at the point in time the films were made, censorship and morals laws and such were pretty much the status quo in the middle of the century. You had things like the FBI trying to subvert homophile organizations, films that promoted the popular conception of homosexuals as ravenous monsters (hmm, maybe for the next one of these I take on Boys Beware). You also had the promoted image of the docile housewife, the nuclear family, threats of communism, this could be a whole book by itself, but the kind of stuff before the 1960s sexual revolution, that made a lot of people uneasy, to say the least. At the same time, you had a large increase in things like cheap paperbacks, the Kinsey books, etc. (While I can't find any evidence of it, I'm wondering if Keating was aware So, yada yada yada, all this and more combines into two films that are as subtle as a shark biting off your head and dancing the tango. It's a lot of background, but that means we can't mock it, hell no.

The films again are Perversion for Profit and Printed Poison. So let's dig into these things already. (I wanted to do this originally as a video project, but the only prints available online are really lousy and faded, and the only good prints which I'm using are from a DVD by a company with a watermark, so, long story short, maybe I'll redo this as a video later) Now, it's difficult to gauge when they were made, given they boast no copyright signatures or time stamps, and the consensus is not, with sources like IMDB giving Perversion for Profit as 1965 but Strub giving it as 1963. For the sake of not thinking about it, I'm listing it as 1964. Printed Poison meanwhile, every source I could find has it in 1965, so I'm assuming it was. And I'm guessing these films were made in Los Angeles, based on what little I can find. While there are no cast lists or anything, Perversion has George Putnam as the staccato narrator who stands talking, Putnam being a news anchor in Los Angeles independent stations until 1975, possibly the inspiration for Ted Baxter, and also, according to Wikipedia, giving Matt Drudge his start. So no reward for him. As for Poison, there's no cast list but the DVD I have lists it with 60s actors Anthony Eisley, John Doucette, and Alan Reed (of the Flintstones), and comparing the actors to Google image search, I'm somewhat taking their word for it. That and the obvious use of film studios and large music sections, it's flimsy I agree, but whatever. Interestingly, this would not be out of character for the time. Los Angeles for a long time was a very repressive city, I should know, wrote my capstone research paper at UCLA partly on that thesis. (And no, I'm not posting it, ya wannabe essay plagiarists) You had the LAPD doing stuff such as working on intimidating the black-owned record store Dolphin's of Hollywood, and things like the city's attorney's office trying to prosecute booksellers selling Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller. Meanwhile, the SoCal chapter of the CDL issued a statement in 1961 that "we cannot overlook the communist international conspiracy… There is little question that communist party activity is involved in publication, distribution, and defense of pornography."(Most of these things are uncited, not really bothering, sorry) Man these guys would have literally blown their heads up seeing the Valley 10 years later. And now, onto the films themselves, probably put in a thousand words without even describing them.

Perversion for Profit (How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Anti-Obscenity Law)

As opposed to the terrible mechanic.

After class we should light up a doob and listen to Rainbow.

The films begins with the titles. "Citizens for Decent Literature Inc." Oh man, glad I can see it's incorporated, was worried it was a scam. Then the title appears, "Perversion for Profit", as the horn section rises, then falls into low strings. Or something, I'm not a music guy or anything, music sheets to me basically look like that one Bugs Bunny cartoon. "With George Putnam outstanding news reporter." In contrast to a really crappy reporter. Then we see George standing in what looks like a classroom, with a conspicuous map of the continental states and an American flag (along with more books on a back shelf than in any LA classroom I've ever been), while he stands behind a desk, stiffer than an Ent. "Hello there, I'm George Putnam. I'd like to begin with a fact. A simple yet shocking fact, it is this." He's actually going commando right now. "A floodtide of filth is engulfing our country in the form of newsstand obscenity." To you youngsters, there were these things called "newsstands", kind of like the app on your Apple device only on the side of buildings, where you could look at physical magazines. "And is threatening to pervert an entire generation of our American children." I was once at a podcast where the guy who wrote "Sex at Dawn" was a guest, wonder what he'd think of this. "We know that once a person is, perverted, it is practically impossible for that person to adjust, to normal attitudes, in regards to sex." Boy, he is gonna flip his shit when that Jesse Bering book comes out. "yet much of this material has been described as an illustrated detailed course in perversion." What else is there to say? "Abnormal sex, crime and violence." Sounds like an average night at a convent. Then he holds up a school project construction board with drawings of kids reading and a big "75% to 90%" on it. "It is also a fact that no matter who buys this material, 75 to 90 percent of it ends up in the hands of our children." Hey, in defense, most of that is because of parents who don't think the kids will get a ladder to reach the top shelf of the closet. Also, I notice he does not cite any sources; wonder if he'd been born another decade later, he'd become one of the trolls on ThinkProgress. "Now, you might ask yourself, why this sudden concern?" I'm not concerned at all, man. "Pornography and sex deviation have always been with mankind. This is true. But ow consider another fact. Never in the history of the world have the merchants of obscenity, the teachers of unnatural sex acts, had available to them, the modern facilities for disseminating this filth." Hey you can't say "disseminate"! Another art board from the school supply aisle with a plane and factory.

Big words. Art supply boards. Shrill narrator.

"Sydney Greenstreet shall aid you in fighting porn!

"High speed presses, rapid transportation, mass distribution." So, basically modern publishing? "All have combined to put the violent obscenity within reach of every man, woman and child in the country." Hmm, maybe that should be a slogan. "In the past few years, this obscenity traffic and salacious newsstand literature, have become increasingly worse." Wait until he sees the movies the Cinema Snob reviews. "Not only in content, but in volume." So, we're switching to cubic meters now? Man, this guy just does not shut up, I'm having to break up his one sentence. "this traffic continues to increase, and flourish, for one reason." Humans are horny sacks of protoplasm and seawater that want to fuck each other constantly? "It is big business, PROFITABLE business, for the mercenary persons who produce it, and for its more, than, 800 distributors." Sure, let's go with that. "The United States Supreme Court has described it as dirt for dirt's sake, we describe it dirt for money's sake. Obscene literature is a two billion dollar a year business. That's two, billion dollars", he says with yet another school project board with a drawing of a greedy businessman who looks like a mix of a Jewish caricature and Wilson Fisk. Also, right-wing guys who are AGAINST making as much money as possible? What kind of black magic sorcery is this? "Through this material, today's youth can be stimulated to sexual activity for which he has no legitimate outlet." Hence that scene in American Pie. "He is even enticed to enter the world of homosexuals, lesbians, sadists, masochists, and other sex deviates." Frankly they make better company than you do. 'The psychiatric term for these unnatural sex acts are unknown to most decent adults in our country, but through this salacious material, these abnormalities are corrupting the minds and the hearts of our children." Another board, with a drawing of an octopus over the country out of a Frank Norris novel, apparently looking sad while growing pot plants. "Perversion for profit. Here is the most vicious, the most insidious feature of these publications. They constantly portray abnormal sexual behavior, as being, normal." Hoo boy, pretty sure it'd take a whole other article by an expert instead of a guy who can't get a dishwasher full, for that statement. "They glorify unnatural sex acts. They tell youngsters that it's smart, ti's thrilling, it provides kicks to be a homosexual, a sadist, and every other kind of deviant." Again, that sounds better than being, you, mr. Putnam. "the military chaplain's association of the United States, practically every major fraternal, civic, and religious organization, the juvenile court judges, the Federal Bureau of Investigation, innumerable psychiatrists, sociologists and psychologists, ATTRIBUTE the moral decay among our people in very large part to the obscene and pornographic literature so prevalent in our society." 4 minutes in and already I'm wanting this thing to end since I can't yell at him, he's been dead for years. "This, moral decay weakens our resistance to the onslaught of the Communist masters of deceit." Sure, why not throw in the Red menace while we're at it? This film is turning into a paranoid wet dream of every fucking guy with on a John Birch mailing list in the 60s, albeit no mention of things like the various civil rights movements (habit from when I had a class with James Lawson), probably for the best.

Looks like trouble in River City.

"A major factor that makes youngsters prime targets for this printed filth is the natural curiosity of youth, about the mysterious force, of sex." As seen in The Blue Lagoon. Sorry, I can't think of anything, this guy's voice is starting to hurt my brain. just gonna quote until I think of something. "Yet on virtually every newsstand, is a welder of misinformation, which can wreck them for life. Well at this point my friends, I wish to make it clear that the obscenity I am talking about, and the examples I am about to show you were not bought on the sly from under the counter. They were not purchased on Skid Row or on the other side of the tracks." And yet another fucking board, cripes Wal-Mart must be sold of those by now, this one depicting a young guy and girl surrounded by everyday places. "They were bought openly by anyone in drugstores, groceries, delicatessens, terminals, malt shops, cigar stores, newsstands, all over the community." Even at the lodges where this film was presumably screened. Man, and to think as a kid you could only find them at that seedy store with the marquee down the street.

See what I mean about their red bars? Hey, down here.

And now we come to yet another odd part: the filming of actual covers and content of this stuff. First with a panning shot of tons of girlie magazines. "They can be purchased by children." Enough about the damn children, Helen Lovejoy! I regret deciding to cover this film now. "A prime example of one major category are the so-called girlie magazines, which sell over fifteen million copies a month." And now a montage of, a crap-ton of said magazines, many of which seem lost to time except in this film. And, in another odd bit, they just cover the eyes and little naughty bits like the nipples of the models, but everything else is, pretty much there. Kind of defeats the purpose. "These highly colorful magazines picture stark nudity on slick paper, they often present their subject on beds or couch, in positions indicative of intercourse or other sex acts. obviously calculated to stimulate the reader." Yeah, almost like the readers want to fuck them, thanks for the obvious, Mr. Peabody. "The nakedness, the nudity of these magazines is defended and foisted upon the people by a vociferous minority in our society. They lack the moral standards and values of our Judeo-Christian heritage. they not only oppose the principles of that heritage, which has given us our rich institutions and laws, but they advocate their overthrow." Kind of ruining your argument by showing covers full of cleavage and asses. Also, that is a giant sudden leap from "stark nudity" to "advocating the overthrow of society and everything in it". "For the sake of decency in this film, we have partially covered the pictures and disguised the identity of the models." Not very fucking well, I want to point out. "But actually these magazines not only display complete nudity, but they do so, in a perverted manner." Oh, what fresh hell is this? They show a woman on all fours on a bed, and we get this: "Such as this appeal to, the sodomite." Then pictures of large breasts out of one of those Taschen books. You know the ones. "Such as these shots, which are typical of the preoccupation with the female breasts, to the point that it has become a fetish." Hey, you're the one showing them, okay? A photo of a farmgirl laying on a bench while a goat s nearby. "And this one, with its overtones of bestiality." Okay, think you're reading a little too much into this. A photo of a lot of nude women all sitting around. "And with lesbian implications." I want what he's smoking. Or maybe not. Maybe it's just better to wonder what he's really thinking, or again, not to, since he's starting to sound like Rorschach. Man, they could have at least gotten Jack Webb to do this, he was familiar with propaganda and campy readings.

is it me or does he bare a slight resemblance to Judge Reinhold?

Yep. Just a bunch of nudists, standing around.

Back to Putnam's unapproving face. "Another important problem common to these publications is the dwelling upon teenage participation wild, flagrant abuses of the god-given gift of sex." Frankly, given how he's pretty much ripping everything up, surprised he'd even call sex a "gift." Then shows a photo of a young woman, "her clothes in the disarray of sexual activity", and I'm not going any more into this, because we have to get back to the "breast fetish", with a photo of a woman squeezing her giant filthy pillows against each other, with Putnam describing her face, "note the sensual expression alluded to by Dr. Sorokin, the renowned Harvard sociologist, as being the hallmark of contemporary photography." Note that Sorokin's pretty much forgotten today, I had to look him up myself, and provides yet another reason why I don't trust the Ivy league schools. And then he talks about nudist magazines "for the nudist cult", "group exposure" and 'very few blind blind people join the nudist cult" blah blah blah, can you believe this guy got any work after this? "A young boy in Philadelphia, raped and killed a five year old girl, and while he was testifying, that he had been stimulated to this heinous crime, by reading a nudist magazine, a federal court judge in Washington was granting to that very same publication a second class mailing permit." Holy shit, that got fucking dark quick. Does he know I'm making fun of his Jack Thompson-style blaming? But also, I can't find any reference to such a case, and since he doesn't name a year or the publication that supposedly caused the murder, so, for now I'm guessing if it did happen, that connection is as phony as Frederic Wertham's research..

Yes, put the titles on in FULL VIEW so people don't see them.

Yeah, someone was going to think these were  for bodybuilding

"And then, we come to a terribly sad indictment of our society. The so-called physique group of publications. These magazines with a homosexual viewpoint, and poses", that are shown in detail (I think one of the ones shown is a Tom of Finland cover), "are often not understood by youngsters who take them as instruction on body development." I kind of doubt that many readers were unaware that these were not "Men's Health". Just a hunch. "but psychiatrists believe that prolonged exposure of even the normal male adult to these type of publications, though he may not be aware of its nature, will nevertheless pervert." Said while showing said photos. Man, the scholarship has, definitely changed since then. "Think then of the consequences to the inexperienced youth, who in purchasing and studying this material, becomes a pawn for these, misfits." A pawn in a color game of chess for the soul of society. Actually, I think this is the film that scared Lindsay Graham straight. "These homosexuals, who have a slogan that betrays the evil of the breed: Today's conquest, they say, is tomorrow's competition. Note the tender age at which homosexuals prefer their conquests" as a photo of a twink teen is shown. Dude, gay people are not this big NAMBLA conspiracy, chill the fuck out! Then a young face, an all-American face, as it zooms out to show him standing with his loinclothed groin sticking out: "Look here at the young face, and bright smile hat could be the hope of the world, but in the other half of the picture, is revealed the seduction of the innocent." Because being gay automatically makes you incapable of helping the world, thanks Dr. Wertham (see, a call back to an earlier paragraph). And another photo of a smiling twink walking in a stride, while Putnam warns of others following his footsteps. "And more of the same" as photos of guys reclining with muscles out are shown. Thinking the filmmakers had soem issues. Then a cover of a magazine of a guy in a toga: "This picture is not typical of the physique magazine, it approaches another class of magazines, dealing with transvestites, wherein wearing a female garment is that which provides sex gratification for the participant." Yes, togas and sheets equals wearing a Chanel dress and eyeliner. Then it shows a cover of a magazine "One: The Homosexual Viewpoint", which Putnam says "confesses the charges we have made", which is an odd choice given that was deemed not obscene by the Supreme Court in 1958, and was more about articles by the Mattachine Society on things like FBI raids. And now everyone probably thinks I'm gay, huh? Okay, my brain starting to get paranoid after hours of typing this, time for a break.

Okay, seriously, what were the filmmakers thinking?

I got nothing for this., other than what in the fu-

Okay, we are back. Anyway, Putnam is now naming the table of contents of sadomasochism magazines and books, with the ads from the magazines with information you need to buy it. "Sexual sadism, strange flagellation cults, erotic, confessions of a sadist, what is fetishism, the pleasure of pain, the worship of the whip, sexual problems of a masochist, how to buy a whipping, famous transvestites, 'are cross dressers afraid of sex?'" Also for some reason, a chapter on how to pickle okra. "These titles lead us to a bizarre but nevertheless common product of our newsrack." Those damn magazine sweepstakes. Actually, it's of people being tied, including gay guys with asses clearly front and centered with no little red box over them, "binding or inflicting pain upon the other." I think there's an Eric Stanton drawing or two in this film as well, he was a "femdom" artist who was roommates with Steve Ditko in his Marvel days. And again, thinking that someone bending over is automatically about "sodomy" with lace leather garments. And again "Dr Sorokin, the renowned sociologist at Harvard says, that the newsstands quote depict a world as a sort of human zoo, inhabited by rape, mutilated and murdered females, and by he-males outmatching in bestiality cavemen, and outlusting the lustiest of animals." In other words, prep schools in the 1980s. "Male and female alike are hardened in cynical contempt of human life and values. Unquote." Citation needed. "The degradation of these people is so complete as shown here that their sex satisfaction and climax comes only in being tortured themselves, of inflicting torture on others." It's kind of like eating buffalo wings all the time, you get used to it. Hell, they just show a woman bound up in apparently some kind of bristly thicket, no red bars even so you can see uh, everything. Wonder if the red bar guy just got tired. Or quit. or got in trouble with the Gambinos and is now a skeleton in the Hudson River. Or tried to raise the dead, or went off to Vietnam. Frankly more interesting stories than this film presents.

Just an average bookshelf in Portland.

Worst episode of Storytime Theater ever.

"Seldom have you have been in the supermarket without brushing by the newsrack with the so-called men's adventure magazines, where with words and picture, lust and violence-filled pages devoured by juvenile eyes." and blue collar guys too, but don't say anything. (I know that from looking up the book on it from New Texture, available now) "It would seem the publishers of this material deliberately print these magazines, in the parlance of the narcotic, to hook the adolescent into the knowledge of the unnatural." And blah blah utter depravity. "Mail order obscenity, the problem is graphically illustrated by these advertisements, all of which were clipped form one copy of a single girlie magazine." You got a lot for 35 cents back then.  And we can apparently order stuff in the mail, who knew? "You couldn't possibly think there was anything worse, but perhaps the single most insidious group of publications is the cheap pocket book. In page after page of these so-called novels, sex organs, positions of intercourse, abnormal sex practices of every kind are described with intimate physical detail." You know he read all of them beforehand. "An invitation is even extended to the reader, to come join the fun." Well, wasn't planning to, but if they say so. And teenagers, don't really care what he's saying. Oh finally, he shut the fuck up for a second, if only to walk to . a shelf with yet ANOTHER fucking school science fair art board about obscenity. Which leads to a several minute reading of a book about a teenager who wants "kicks" after joining a gang and killing a man, who sounds like some kind of delinquent Sartre which I'm not transcribing because I want this thing to be over before Halloween. And words simply cannot describe Putnam's bizarre reading of it, like trying to explain William Shatner's singing to an alien from Rigel Four. Interestingly, the book, "Sex Jungle" was actually written by Robert Silverberg under a pseudonym, before his sci-fi become well known, unlike Dr. Sorokin.

"Maybe I'll look more dignified leaning like this."

Again, no data points or anything.

It's an upwards red line, it must be true!

Back at the desk, Putnam continues: "I repeat my friends, I have not shown you these pictures and quoted form this material merely to shock you, or merely to make this presentation sensational." And cue me slamming my head into my desk at his lack of awareness. "it is only to show what is openly available on your newsstand, and think of this: what you have just seen is not the worst material available." So where can we buy it then? "And yet, even this required editing, to make it suitable to be shown in this film." Little red bars. That's all they used. "The vast majority of this material is too obscene to show, or to openly use." And not even 20 minutes and I'm fucking sick of this. No more quote unless it's really something. Putnam goes on about moral decay, materials making people turn to sex violence, law and authority being ridiculed. Oh god, not another board with an unsourced drawing on it, this time of illegitimate births and VD rates without x-and y-axis data stuff. And now onto venereal disease, blaming it on the publications, never thinking of films like Dance Little Children. And another board with a "vice" magazine to blame for crime, notwithstanding all the other factors in 60s crime increases. Fuck it, I can't complete this, fucking shrill guy. Something about the Supreme Court saying no, "this is a nation of laws, and you and I have a constitutional guarantee to police protection of our welfare." Unless you're a minority. And ironically, the obscenity laws would pretty much fall to the wayside a few years later. Some courtroom scene with a judge talking to a jury made up of walking corpses, then back to Putnam. "Would you display this material on your living room table?" Yep. "Do you find such material in the living room of your friends and neighbors." No, but that's because of judgmental guys like yourself. "Would you read stories form these publications to your family or friends?" No, but by that definition my friend's fan fiction and books like Pride and Prejudice would be obscene too. "Would you undertake to sell this material from door to door? of course you would not." yeah, it's called the Internet. "Your community standards are far above depraved material." Though not above covering up the mayor's daughter's bastard child with Seth form down the road. He recommends keeping reading material out of the house, to "promote good reading" at the library, unless it's something that makes them question authority, of course. Fin obscenity and tell the owner of a place selling it, that should work. Ah, the days when you could report to the police "objectionable material" like pocketbooks, this whole thing feels authoritarian. And of course forming a "Committee of Decent Literature" in an organization, and a Citizens for Decent Literature group, to "arouse public opinion which will support the police and prosecute". Even gives the mailing address, which I guess helps you find where to mail them. And now he finishes in an anticlimax that I'm pretty sure any professor in at UCLA History will counter: "This same type of rot and decay caused sixteen of the nineteen major civilizations to vanish from the Earth. Magnificent Egypt, classical Greece, imperial Rome, all crumbled away not because of the strength of the aggressor, but because of moral decay from within. But we are in a unique position to cure our own ills: our Constitution was written by men who put their trust in God and founded a government based in His laws. These laws are on our side. We have a constitutional guarantee of protection against obscenity. And, in this day especially, we must seek to deliver ourselves from this twisting, torturing evil. We must save our nation from decay and deliver our children from the horrors of perversion. We must make our land, 'the land of the free', a safe home. Oh, God, deliver us, Americans, from evil." And if you see hippies, shoot them, good night. I kid, think these guys secretly wanted to read the underground mags. But this film, kind of odd. No real action, just a guy talking about dirty books like it's the end of the world in that 50s narrator tone. And a bunch of closeups of that material, which instead of working for their point, basically shows all the stuff that the viewers now wanted to buy.

Printed Poison (This Town Needs Some Real Problems)

Oh man, that's over. Not sure how the Rifftrax writers do it. Sorry I was funny as watching your house burn down after discovering you have terminal cancer, and then noticing your friend's Dave Matthews Band collection survived. Man, that film is better watched, as I have now found out. Well, onto Printed Poison, the film that looks at Perversion for Profit and says "let's try to go overboard more." Should be better, it's not just some guy yelling at you like you've just broken a lamp.

Hey, a Hugh Ferriss drawing.

Welcome to beautiful downtown Shackville.

The film begins with an orchestra section blasting some ominous tunes as the titles come on. Then for some reason it turns into a jazzy sexophone number, with photos of buildings that make me think it's the intro to "The Naked City", and some random beaches and shacks too, for good measure. Then we see it's Night Gallery, only some Mad Men reject is there instead of Rod Serling. "That's my town there. Partly the way it is, partly the way I imagine it." Partly the way it smells like ranch dressing. "From out here it looks comfortable, doesn't it?" Not really, more boring as hell. "Well for the most part it is, except for the poison, the rot, the horribly toxic abscess", he says as the film turns to a rotting open wound or something. Man, he sounds like Travis Bickle. Then a skateboarding kid who looks depressed he didn't make the Archies callbacks passes by on the obvious set before heading into the darkness. "That's Johnny Morrison, he's one of those already infected, come on I'll show you." No need, I've already seen the Centron films. Then it cuts to a store called "Geryon's" which is pretty much just soem wire shelves in a studio surrounded by blue draping. As upbeat jazzy music plays, anonymous guy tells us "take a look at what they're reading. Go on, they won't even know you're there." You're invisible to them, Gorge Bailey. Actually, it's all a bunch of 60s guys, including one who looks like Jeff Garlin, reading porno magazines, just sanding at the shelves reading. We see the owner, Geryon, who "isn't exactly a candidate for the good citizen's award", although one could say helping your townsmen not have blue balls could count. Over and over the community asks him to take the obscene stuff off his stands, and he always responds "it's my business, I'll sell whatever makes a profit!" Which ironically would become Charles Keating's way of thought as well. As anonymous guy goes on, "the obscenity gets worse and worse, if that's possible anymore", Geryon actually hears his narration and talks to the camera, "If what's possible anymore? What are you talking about?" Oh my god, the characters are becoming sentiment, run for it! The two have a short argument about the "sewage" Geryon is selling. Who simply responds "if you don't like them, don't buy them." Huh, pretty simple. Then anonymous guy walks over to a shelf, I thought because he was thinking "when in Rome", but instead he picks up "the soul searing bacteria of a new disease" and throws them at us.

As opposed to the place the Waynes were shot.

Printed on a mimeograph machine after school.

Then we get a montage of barely covered nude photographs with the saxophone again. "Look at them." Oh, I am, I am. "The girlie and so-called nudist magazines." So called because, well, it's in the name right there. Seriously, do they have to show the photos that are barely censored? "Magazines depicting lesbianism, homosexuality (of course they have to show a photo of a muscular young man barley covering his junk), sodomy, transvestism (actually seems more like transgenderism there), sadism, bestiality (again, someone standing near an animal doesn't imply that), masochism, all the abnormal perversions." Sounds like an pretty good weekend in Vegas right there. All as we see the publications on camera. Hmm, some of these look like the underground sadomasochism magazine that Joe Shuster had to do to make ends meet after DC fucked him and Jerry Siegel out of Superman money. Which were later used in a trial of the 50s Brooklyn Thrill Killers, a bunch of Jewish guys who killed people in Brooklyn, whose case was later sued by Dr Frederic Wertham as an example of "comic books" corrupting youth, in a manner similar to these films claiming pornography will increase crimes. Holy crap, I think I've stumbled onto something. This could be a research paper or book.

A meeting of the minds, is happening someplace else.

When he smiles, an angel cries.

Anyway, back to the film. "And pocketbooks just as vicious. Listen to the instructions handed out by some publishers to their authors." And so we get things like "We basically seek offbeat sex, with emphasis on devotion. The more offbeat, the better." And "We don't want four letter words or too clinical a description, but within these limits must be as strong and offbeat as possible." Man, where's Orson Welles when you need him to narrate? Then, we get anonymous guy saying "the parasite of it all, the great American maggot" as a montage of Geryon selling stuff in a montage more reminiscent of a horror film with sudden cuts to a cash register and a disembodied laugh before ending up on the rotting wound. Then we see the same studio dressed like a sheriff's office, where anonymous guy (who until I hear a name, I'm calling Dirk Pointjaw), talking to Sheriff Hale on Sons of Anarchy about Geryon's store. They've gotten complaints but nothing will likely happen, which tick Dirk off that the sheriff can't help. "My hands are tied", but not in the sense of that dungeon room on Franklin Avenue, "now you can call it hopeless or call it a stone wall but it's the same thing." Dirk says "I don't understand it, how can you just sit there and say sure this stuff is rotten but don't throw it in my lap?" Well, maybe because the department's got better things to do like finding axe murderers in the area. Even the sheriff guy seems a little ticked when he responds "that's not exactly what i was trying to say... I've just got so much time and this department just has so many men. (He's turning to the camera now, oh god they're breaking out)" And some stuff about not having time or men before Dirk tells him Geryon is wrong in what he's doing. The sheriff tells him to get the district attorney to prosecute. Then Dirk walks away, and again talks to the camera "Oh come on, don't look so worried, we haven't lost this thing yet." Says you, I'm a dirty commie wannabe hippie and I'm rooting for Geryon. "There's got to be a wedge, leverage point, something the police and the district attorney won't shy away from." May I suggest a life size model of the Mark 2 Viper from Battlestar Galactica? Then he has an epiphany: "We'll go through these books and magazines ourselves, we'll prepare a synopsis, better yet a chapter by chapter outline, we'll condense the material, and anybody spending a few minutes reading through them will see for themselves just how rotten this stuff really is. Come on." No, I think I'll stay here, thank you very much. Want to rewatch Battlestar Galactica, the 2003 series, which to be honest has some things that hold up, but some aspects that don't, like, what the hell were the head creatures anyway? And it was set 150,000 years ago?

Poor filing cabinet. Didn't ask to be in this movie.

You can just tell he's holding in a stiffie right now.

Back to the film, we see Dirk at a desk in the studio, this time with a lamp and single filing cabinet to look like a room. Okay, a question, doesn't this guy have a job or a family or something? Or is he all alone, just sitting at a desk like some porno PI, and not in the Johnny Wadd sense? Oh boy, he looks at the camera again. "Come here. I want you to hear this." Shudder, the way he said made my body temperature drop a degree. That's a sentence like some creepy guy in a back alley will say. Then he beings reading, full quote here, just, oy: "Diane awakened in her cheap hotel room, dreaming of a fierce hunger for a real live man. But her boyfriend is in jail for having intercourse with her best girlfriend in a public theater. Diane attempts masturbation, but turns to an empty whiskey bottle instead. She goes downstairs, she bribes the bartender for whiskey by exposing herself to him. He masturbates. Diane further bribes him and they engage in sexual intercourse behind the bar. End first chapter, but keep in mind there are twelve more just like this." Well, free booze, get laid, not seeing what the problem is here. But, wow. That's, something, like, I don't think sales of that book went down after this film was released. Let us just leave it at that. Actually, think I have a backstory for this guy. His nickname ever since he was a kid was "Porno Larry" after some neighborhood kids sold him a Tijuana Bible about Blondie. His collection increased over the years, making it harder to interact with people. this until he was serving in Korea, where, after finding a magazine with Bettie Page in it, he was caught in the kitchen tent fucking a piece of Angus sirloin that was several weeks expired but the chefs hoped to serve anyway. The experience humiliated him as news spread across the peninsula, so he blamed pornography and became this guy in another town. So, Porno Larry decides to take all the stuff to the DA's office to a jazz score out of Peter Gunn. And instead of getting kicked out, Larry meets with the DA, who looks like a rich banker villain on an episode of Gunsmoke, while accompanied by Don Draper. The DA is telling a phone no more phone calls, and saying that obscenity cases are a pain in the neck they've tried before to bad press, but Larry presses on. He and Draper, a.k.a. Mr Lawson, are convinced that this is the first time they have something to work on. Then, a few minutes about how obscenity is not prosecutable and tried to get Geryon on jury before, about the subject matter, this is boring, get back to the nude photos already. Lawson gets a big stack of files, saying he was doing research on 21 cases (sure he was), convictions denied review by the Supreme Court. Lawson even shows the DA a lot of girlie magazines from a case and from the store, which makes the DA curl his lower lip under his upper lip. And a lot of paperbacks from the store. He actually sounds sarcastic when telling Lawson his research is "very impressive." And then Lawson shows some nude photos from another case, which makes the DA's face into this bite-lipped smile, like a half vinegar stroke or something, before saying he got clobbered on a nudist magazine case. Man, this is boring, it's a bunch of guys with severe issues trying to declare it all on the world. Kind of like Dr. Strangelove actually, say, there's another paper idea. The DA says to file on Geryon, scene is over, Larry and Lawson walk besides each other. Not suggestive.

How nice, porn shop where you get a free bag lunch.

Think they just hired an ugly guy for the defense lawyer role.

"Go to Vietnam ya little-"

Now, Lawson is telling the sheriff about how to go through with arresting Geryon. You may notice I'm not putting any dialogue, frankly it's all kind of boring legalese after Larry talked about that Diane book. Basically, they don't want to "tiptoe on Geryon's civil rights", but to pull a sting where they pretend to be ordinary costumers, and secure a copy of "Sexpots", then try to get the guy to give soemthing else, then arrest him while taking photos. All narrated with the energy of a grocery store announcer. Then, in a mock court room with the seal of "Everywhere, 1781", cheaper than using an actual town, backed with Perry Mason music, the world's ugliest defense lawyer suggests to let it go since the book is protected, before Lawson rudely interrupts before the defense guy says it's a matter of free speech and thrown out of court. The judge, who looks like a misshapen puppet of Ed Koch, lets Lawson go on, about the book being for "prurient interests" or something, and the judge goes about obscenity determined in court before the trial, boring boring boring. The trial is set, and Lawson and Larry walk off, ver closely side by side. The two are stopped by reporters, about the arrest and prosecution, before a young reject from the Dave Clark Five asks "aren't you afraid of treading on the golden calf of free speech?" Huh, didn't know anyone cared about free speech back then until Berkeley. Lawson denies that Geryon's not being denied his rights as a free citizen, but basically should go to jail for "stepping over the bounds of reason, decency, and free speech." Someone else points out that these two idiots are the ones who field the complaint, and Davey Clark asks "Why stir up a fuss about a few dirty books?" Watts, Vietnam, civil rights, guy has a point. But Larry says it was necessary, when another reporter asks if pornographic literature "a minor problem, no concern to the vast majority of us?"

"Because you're mine, I, sort of walk the line."

His hopes of going to USC dashed.

"Please stop with the sealed envelopes of dog crap already."

Then Lawson cuts in, at the trial, where he's complaining about it not being a problem on "the other side of the tracks", but a "multi-milion-dollar-a-year business" of "smut peddlers", youth and adults corrupted by pornography, and i don't really care. Could be watching MST3K right now. goes on to accuse Geryon. Then the DA apologizes for some reason, gives Larry a newspaper which describes him as "courageous" for his "backbone and concern." Then the judge, talking to the jury "does the book offend the common conscience of the community", then Lawson strokes Larry's ego more about getting involved. Final verdict, Geryon is found guilty as charged. And the judge thanks them and the police, I smell corruption. He even quotes Earl Warren, about hard work to enforce laws. Ironically, Warren presided over cases that would likely make these guys spin, such as Griswold v Connecticut (I'm tired, look it up). Then back to the Night Gallery with scary strings, Larry saying there's no infection or disease (like there was already one), thanking the viewer, but warning about your town, with an overlay of a downtown area and the rotting wound, lingering for like 30 seconds. "By now you must realize, that you're the only one who can call for demand the arrest, prosecution and conviction of men like Geryon", then the camera even runs from his creepy ass, only for him to say "Go on, you can run away from me easily, but you can never run away from your own responsibility in yours. Now and forever. To deny it is to deny all that is precious and dear, all that is good in this life. But if you avoid that responsibility, then someday generation must grow up to which perversion is commonplace. And that generation will in its own perverse anguish, curse us all for having been so unconcerned. You must decide my friend, you must decide very soon." And of course an address to fight this apocalypse with the CDL. Wow, pornographic literature apparently will cause the destruction of mankind, not fear-mongering one bit there. Here's what I think happened to the cast of characters; Porno Larry had a breakdown after seeing Emmanuelle in theaters, resulting in him being placed in an asylum. Lawson eventually got a position in the Reagan administration before being sent to jail. The DA continued to puff his cheeks up until he floated away. The sheriff later was involved in bugging student groups on behalf of the FBI. The judge was last seen in Brazil in 1981. And Geryon was released on a technicality, moved to North Carolina, and founded Adam And Eve.

Further analysis
I could write more, but I'd rather dunk my head in a tub of ice water than think anymore about these films. Combined, these two films give a shrill, unintentionally hilarious and quite prurient look at the sexual and underground literature of the 1960s, probably not what the filmmakers were going for. It's worth noting that in a pamphlet from CDL in 1960 listed Charles Keating as a "no humorless puritan or hot-eyed reformer", pretty ironic when you see the films he had made. The films provide, a very much picture of the status quo at the time, guys who were in charge and didn't want stuff that offended or threatened them, while very repressed. It's amazing how pretty much batshit insane they get in trying to get people to not buy porn, such as claiming it as part of an international communist conspiracy. And, they are genuinely fascinating, to look into and guess the kind of world they were in making these: One where the seeming old order is falling and "perverts" are everywhere destroying the country. And because it's the 1960's there are no women speaking in the film. Seriously, look back at the films, there's not a single woman talking at any point. In person, they're always these middle aged or old Midwestern ladies who don't speak, otherwise they're all only shown in the porno pictures. Say a whole lot more than they planned. Overall, these films present a fever dream mindset of the filmmakers, a world where even nudity is "morally degenerating" if seen. Where stepping a tiny bit out of line of the popular perception results in being seen as a "deviate" who is to be turned in to the authorities immediately and harassed if not already. Admittedly, that sounds somewhat like my middle school days, only with me being the oldies music lover in special ed. Man I fucking hated middle school, why do they do that? What good reason is there for sticking a bunch of kids with buzzcuts into polo shirts and khakis, set them loose on each other almost like it's Lord of the Flies when we all get out? I once found a condom in a water fountain, okay, it was not pretty at all. It was the W Bush years, so maybe that's it. Anyway, back to the films, I was hoping they'd be better but they seem to need to be seen to be effective? I don't know, let me know in the comments what you think can be better. Oh, and I was going to put this in the Perversion for Profit section but it was already tool long, but basically, just wanted to point out that the Soviet Union actually had very restrictive laws on pornography up to the 80s. "New Soviet Man" and all that. It's weird, like how in the 50s you had gay people viewed by Red Scare guys as parallel or equal to commies as unpatriotic threats to national security in what was deemed the Lavender scare, when in the Soviet Union they were heavily criminalized after Stalin and beyond. A case of two enemies not realizing how similar they were? Eh, that's someone's else question.

Also, a funny thing that I found while looking up this stuff, courtesy of a paper by Whitney Strub (who seems to be the only historian on this for some reason): "At its 1965 national conference in New York City's Waldorf- Astoria Hotel a display behind an 'Adults Only' door included examples of the latest magazines dealing with traditional nudism as well as 'flagellation, bestiality, incest, lesbianism, fetishism and other perversions.' As one reporter noted with laconic humor, 'The display had many visitors yesterday.'" And before I conclude, have to say that I'm reminded of a film that was shown on Mystery Science Theater 3000, The Sinister Urge, an Ed Wood film. It's a low budget anti-porno drama exploitation film from 1960, and its approach to showing the dangers of porn are, now shown very well, like a toupee on Shatner. Not to go too much into the film, wince, they already have an episode mocking it you can watch, but one thing that stands out is how the pornographers, well they basically put models in MORE clothes than they've worn in their lives after being hired. Why do I bring these up? Well, besides wanting to write them, they basically seem to illustrate a problem with anti-porn debating, namely, how do you tell and show people the problem without them getting hard and wet? Same with that "His Private Life" Lifetime or Hallmark film, something about a teen guy looking at lingerie or something online. Or those God-awful manga ripoffs published by Tim Todd, "Truth for Youth", basically Chick tracts but without child abusers going to Heaven after asking for forgiveness and drawn in the style of that guy in your high school art class who just tried to imitate Shonen Jump on his assignments. By the way, Sunday night I went to a screening of the documentary Love, Gilda, I recommend seeing it. And now, since I can't think of anything else, it's over. I'm done writing except for the gallery. Have to admit, this experiment was not the clever thing I imagined it would turn out. Oh well, live and learn. Next times, Boys Beware and/or nuclear war.

By the way, if you want to watch, here are YouTube links, shoddy prints but still. And I'll probably put more in a later video review. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pciD9gd3my0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUN6k40pD0k

Perversion for Profit Gallery

'You talking to me?"

Wilson Fisk really got greedy.

Why does the octopus look so sad?

Red bar over the crotch, it's not that difficult to tape on the picture.

Even nuns got in on 60s girlie mags.

 

Again, the red bars DO NOTHING! You stupid film!

And thus Russ Meyer's career was born.

Richard Neutra, the architect? Didn't know he was into this.

All this porn is making him look constipated.

Okay, the Mattachine one and the cowboy one are obviously not physique magazines.

Wait, is that Alan Steele on the "Male Classics" cover there? 

Blast Hardcheese's early career.

... I got nothing.

Bodybuilding. Of course.

Okay, were the filmmakers gay? 

Well, when in Rome.

Looks like a Dover books catalog entry.

How many crossdressers were there in the 50s, anyway? All of a sudden now I'm wondering.

The gravity of the situation is lessened by that guy in the bottom center panel's mustache.

Okay, is this Eric Stanton work?

Think that's a Michael O'Donoghue comic.

Bettie Page?

Looks like they gave up on the red bars.

"Even Nick Scroggs can't think of funny captions, I'm disappointed."

Did Bruce Jay Friedman ever write for this one?

There's also an ad for cheap student travel in the back.

Nice classroom, has their own porn shelf.

Might as well add some macaroni and stand it on a table in the gymnasium.

Well, it's a board, it must be true.

Is his arm glued to his side?

I knew that website was trouble.

Odd retelling of the Moses story. 

He looks out of an Ed Wood film.

Combined, the jurors make up over 1200 years on this planet.

   

Ahh, a disembodied hand is attacking!

Yeah, Forbes wants to get rid of this and promote Amazon instead.

That's not actually a cop he's calling but HR Haldeman.

 

"Dear Penthouse Forum..."

Robespierre and company discuss public safety.

I dare you to write them. I dare you. 

Think Uncle Sam has more pressing matters right now.

Thank merciful God.

Printed Poison gallery

Tonight, on Night Gallery.

That thing doesn't look healthy.

His spider-sense is tingling.

"Enjoyment is an illusion in a bleak world." 

"does this bug you, I'm not touching you.'

Now to see his sex dungeon.

Everyone's just hanging out at the porn shop.

Jeff Garlin enjoys a magazine.

As close as they will ever get. 

Boy, it sucks being a nudist and your grandma still insists on putting sunscreen on your back.

Okay, I'm pretty sure the filmmakers were gay.

The hell is she standing with, the giant dog from Neverending Story?

Found on the floor of Amoeba Music.

What's a magazine form the 80s doing in a 60s film? Okay, I'm just phoning it in.

"We're traveling, backwards in time."

Gregory Peck disapproves.

"Doot de doo, just buying porn, don't mind me."

10 dollars, what a rip!

I, couldn't think of any other captions for these, sorry.

You read the whole thing? Have to admit, I'm impressed. Even I couldn't get this far, hell couldn't even finish the photo captions, and probably the article as well, now that I think about it. You deserve a prize or something. Like this.